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Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Many faces of Love



1992 - 93 - 94

He was in class XI. Final exams around the corner. If he passed he would move on to class XIIth and then boards and then degree college followed by a job and then marriage. Only the last part interested him and that was what was precisely on his mind as he stared at the other end of the class.

Hair tightly tied into two plaits neatly held in place with red ribbons. A plain neatly ironed school uniform, white socks pulled up nearly to the knees and shining black shoes. He found her the most beautiful girl in the world. He had been staring for a few hours now, and for months before that...Yes HE WAS IN LOVE.

He had spent hours drafting love letters and tearing them up....he was good at Mathematics....she used to go for tutions...He enrolled for the same classes and stared some more there. He would translate the Maths lessons into Hindi and wrote them down and then passed it on to her...hoping she would understand now...

He lay awake at nights wondering if her lips were pink or red??? Did she even notice him? Did she know he existed? He thought their eyes met in class last month....did that actually happen?

He wrote her name followed by his surname and stared at it for hours each day.

He told her he loved her at least a million times a day....in his mind.....

It may not have been love in the true sense but it definitely was a strong attraction....and only one sided. She did not feel anything for him.

2001

His marriage was fixed.....

A lot happened in between but she was the same girl...

The pig tails had been replaced by flowing bouncy hair. The school uniform with flowing dresses and the shoes with high heels.....Now that the marriage was fixed, she noticed him, smiled at him and he told her he loved her.

They would go on looooong drives and he would hold her hand all the way. They would listen to songs on the car stereo and sang together. The sat the whole day at Buddha Jayanti park. He kept looking at her and cooked up excuses to touch her, hold her hand, give her a hug.

During the courtship, when she was at her parents place, he would beg his mother "Mom after 11 the STD rates are one fourth, can I please speak to her for the whole night once???"

He told her she was beautiful every time he saw her. He used to open the car door for her each time she got in. He never got irritated with her and was always willing to listen to her stories. In fact he wanted her to keep talking so he could just sit and look into her melting eyes.

The love had increased but still had a long way to go. He showed his love more than he actually did.

2010

He is still the same and so is she. The only thing that has changed is the time they have been married.

He loves her now. In the real sense of the word. He makes sure that she is always comfortable. If she wants something he gets it for her. He hugs her and sleeps at night. He cant sleep without her. He still teaches her....

He comes back home from office and looks forward to sitting with her and share the happenings of the day gone by. He loves going for long walks with her. He cries silently when she is unhappy. He prays for her happiness.

He gives her space. He loves it when she goes to meet her friends and comes back smiling. He loves taking her on holidays. And she loves him back..with conviction and in a way only a woman can.

But.....

He hardly tells her he loves her.

He never holds her hand when they drive.

Rather than singing together, they argue in the car.

Buddha Jayanti park has become a cheap place now.

He stopped opening the car door for her long back.

He gets irritated often and dosent look into her eyes when they talk.

The love has grown.....but when and why did he stop showing it?

Authors note: All unmarried people may come back and read this post a few years after marriage. It just might make sense then


11 comments:

Annieseed said...

Amazing expression.....I admit..! and to all the negligible issues in this growing relation can be overcome with only one thing and thats 'EXPRESSION' again but not on papers or PC but on the Real person....!
Every relation goes thru a number of phases....and so does Love & Marriage..we always give less importance to someone who is with us than the one who is not...just like we mostly prefer past to present...and we dont cherish the moments...but i m sure its not too late and we can catch the boat and keep sailing....and should not get used to being Comfortable Numb...

Shine Kapoor said...

Samit...

This one is simply a beautiful post! Love should be conveyed, whenever the thought passes ur mind!

As time passes, people stop expressing love, and take it for grunted that it is pretty obvious. It holds true for every relation, be it parents, siblings, lover, pals, kids, neighbors, and who-ever.

Keep Writing...
I simply loved ur post~~~
Luv, Shine

Nishtha said...

Love best expressed with abundance of emotions and feelings..

M sure you are still loaded with all of it. All you need to do is express and henceforth nurture your relation.

Lovely post.. Make the person read for whom you have written this :)

I will definitely come back and read it after a few years of my marriage :P

justme said...

Awwww!!!...now this one is really touching....yes love grows with time and grows tremendously....if you love someone just show it....and here just to add Samit...its not just the woman in your life but every single person who made you feel loved or you loved...what say?

Nikita said...

a wonderful post, this. it is such a simple thought, and a saddening one how people fail to express after a while and what i'm marvelling at right now is that i was smiling all through! it was such a warm and honest attempt...and despite the thought at the end, the smile did not fade. i only sighed :)

samitmehra said...

@ Anindita - I agree we tend to take for granted. And yes U got me with that "comfortably numb". Shivani uses that on me 5 times a day now.

@ Shine - Yeah Shine, the same hold true for all relationships, even friendship. But this one was dedicated to the wife.

@ Nishtha - Yes, I did make her read it. And gud for me atleast this post will ensure U come back!!!

@ Manisha - As I said Manisha...this one was for the wife.

@ Nikita - Welcome to the blog. Am glad it made U smile and U can stop sighing as I have made amends and am showing what I feel more often.

Suravi said...

Both need to work on it before the marriage gets sour.He might say...it cant happen she knows I love her.Not enough...needs to be expressed.We are growing.Everthing with us is also growing.
Responsibilities,stress and so many other things.It becomes a need.A everday need.It can be worked out...slow and steady..small steps.Anything can be worked out but it needs to be done soon.Just have to begin it by doing and saying small sweet things to each other.Not that hard as you think.

amita said...

Bravo..well said. I wuld like to totally agree with u...we often forget that marriage is not a noun, it's a verb.... it isn't something you get....it's something you do. It's the way you love your partner "EVERYDAY". We never even notice how it fades away over the years n we just start taking each other for granted! But i wuld say that it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes marriages so boring after a period of time........ because in friendship we do not stop expressing things!!!

Dinesh Mehra said...

great write-up and very very true!

you have a great gift for writing. Actually you are a great story teller samit.

Keep it up.

May be one day, one day there will be film written by you, directed by me,

MB PRESENTS

MEHRA BROTHERS present

HA! HA! NO HARM IN DREAMING, MAY BE THIS DREAM WILL COME TRUE.

Cheers!

Dinesh

samitmehra said...

@ Suravi - Yeah i agree, with the increased stress levels and responsibilities, the love is may be there but it has to be shown to assure ur partner that U are there no matter what!

@ Amita - Very well said abt friendship being the mainstay of a happy n solid marriage. I believe in the same. Friends first and married partners later.

@ Dinesh Bhai - Picture toh banegi...MB presents...."Chokanna Chowkidaar"...as we have discussed so many times...

saloni said...

its a really nice post n i like the picture sooooo much :))))