Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Last Letter to My Dad

Dear Dad,

When I got up today morning, I had a faint suspicion that today something was gonna go dreadfully wrong. I have had this feeling on so many days in the past, so just as I did on those days, I chanted the "Gayatri Mantra" a few times in my mind and set about to start my day.

Today was not like the other days that had passed uneventfully and peacefully. Today when Mom called me on the phone, I knew that this time was not like the other times. This time what I dreaded and hoped would never happen, happened. We lost you today Dad.

You never ventured near the computer or the Internet while you were with us, I hope they give you the Internet on the newspaper there, cause then I am sure you will read my last letter to you.

I have seen snaps of you holding me when I was young. I remember a particular snap with you in a white shirt with black dots looking down at me and smiling. I remember the stories you told me about how we used to go to see Mom in hospital when Prabal was about to be born. Me in a raincoat standing in front, with you driving your Lamberetta scooter.

In fact the earliest memories I have of you are you coming to pick us from school on that same scooter. You were always late Dad.....always. Well at least that gave us a chance to buy sweets from the small shop next to the school gate. I remember we used to go for picnics on that same scooter. The four of us. And remember, I always sat on the carrier behind and you even skidded the scooter once and we all had a great fall.

I remember you telling us that when you were younger, the girls complimented you for your Italian good looks. I am sure Dad.....where else do you think I have got my good looks from?

I remember how you used to comb you hair for ages just to make sure your puff looked just right. You used to stand in front of the mirror and admire your dimples. I remember the songs you used to sing to get us to sleep.

Dad if I have to describe you, I need just two words. A fighter and a complete family man. Your last fight with the long illness of more than 15 yrs shows the will you had to live life. The will was to see us settled, for us to have our children and for you to play with them. I don't remember a single occasion when I heard you say that you did not want to live anymore.

We know that even after you had your first and second attack in Port Blair and even while you were in ICU you clearly instructed us that we would stay on in PB till we both finished our 12th and got admissions in good colleges. That was how much you valued you family.

I remember the first time when we actually went out as friends was when we went to Allahabad and you dropped me to college. We had lunch of tandoori chicken and thumbs up and then we went to college. You told nearly everyone you met to take care of me and for the first time I saw you cry as we said good bye. I hope you are not crying now Dad, as this time the bye is really for good. I didn't cry then but I am crying now.

You loved your meals at a nice restaurant occasionally. It had to had to be only butter chicken and naan. We always forced you to try something else, but you never gave in. I wish we could have a meal together now Dad, and this time I will order the butter chicken and naan for you.

You loved to watch a movie before that. I know how keenly you were waiting for "My Name is Khan". The movie is running now Dad.....Can we see this movie together? We always fought on who would buy the tickets and whether there was any point in seeing it in a PVR. I will buy the tickets Dad and we will go to Delite like you always wanted.

The gol gappa wala at gole market really looks forward for your visit. Whenever I went there alone without you, he asked me "Babuji kahan hain?" I always told him "Jaldi aayenge, khatta paani peene ka man karege toh aayenge". I wish I could give him the same answer now Dad.

I am lucky I bought myself a new cellphone just in time. Although you did not appreciate the colour (Koi acha pink, blue nahi tha kya?) it sure has a good calendar and scheduler. I will need it now as you will no longer remind me when my LIC premium or house installment is due. Dad you did that for Mom, Prabal and me. I always wondered how you managed it. I remember I also coaxed you into paying the installments for me sometimes.

I feel bad now that you had to lure me into coming home to see you. "Samit, Mummy ne aaj tasty chicken curry banaye hai....aake kha le". Why did you never say "Samit come home, Iwanna see you". I hate myself for not coming home often enough to sit with you and talk to you.

In spite of not being too well you wanted to go out and visit places with your family. I know you used to tell Mom, I can go anywhere in the world if my sons are with me.

Finally Dad, I hope U had a satisfying and fulfilling life. You got your sons settled and married, you have a lovely grandchild. You have ensured our Mom has all the worldly conveniences. I hope there were no dreams unfilled except the one or two I know about.

Dad please rest in peace coz I will fulfil them.

Thank You Dad for loving us all so much. Thank you for making us the stand on our feet and for being there every step of the way. Thank you for everything.

Your loving son



Parthasarathighana said...


You have been able to put in words what we all always wanted to tell our Dads... Thanks....

He is a proud man somewhere today... I am sure..

Nishtha said...

This was definitely the most touching post that brought tears to my eyes.

It is so nice to see the love you have for your parents and I am sure where ever your dad will be, he will be proud of you.

I know how it feels to lose your loved ones but this is life and it has to go this way.

Thanks for sharing such a lovely post and making us realize the importance of our parents.

Take Care

Annieseed said...

I dont want to add fancy words like wonderful..heartfelt,touchy,lovely etc. words to a letter that a son has written to his Dad....
Well may be I owe such a composed letter to my Dad too....
I am sure ur Dad must be very proud of U, not only bcoz of the looks u have inherited but all the other qualities that r engraved in u.....I pray for his soul to rest in peace....and u Take care...

Shine Kapoor said...

Hey Samit,

Often on retrospection I feel that I would have never been what I am without my parents. When my papaji (grandpa)expired, I wished that I could have chat with it a little often, have visited bank every time he had to, danced more to his songs, that he custom made for me :).. Now that ur Dads gone, he not only looks forward to you fulfilling his dreams, but also taking on responsibilities that he had to undertake..

Im sure u are a good son and ur Dad "is" be proud of u!!

Take care!
Let me know if I can be of help to you ever :)

sonali said...

Very touching...

Anonymous said...

Brilliant website, I had not noticed earlier in my searches!
Carry on the wonderful work!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I am checking this blog using the phone and this appears to be kind of odd. Thought you'd wish to know. This is a great write-up nevertheless, did not mess that up.

- David